Context: Simon hates bacon. Ok. She doesn't hate it all, but this is what she says:
"I prefer bacon to be used in acceptable ways. You may eat bacon with your eggs, your pancakes, your hash browns, even your sausages, if you have considerable faith in your cholesterol levels. You may eat bacon in salads. You may eat bacon in sandwiches. There are many ways to consume bacon that are fully appropriate. And then there are methods by which the consumption of bacon is rendered inappropriate. You wouldn't think of these on your own without some kind of diabolical intervention, so I will provide you with a list."Read more about her thoughts (and her list) here. Basically she doesn't believe bacon should be in cookies or candy or vodka or cupcakes or chocolate. I disagree. I may have forced my beliefs on her in the past...
So for my birthday she sent me a package which included among other things, a Mo's Bacon Bar (mmm!) and
Opinion before eating: Bad idea. (Note: I don't really like Jelly beans in the first place. And bacon without maple or brown sugar or chocolate is somewhat scary to me.)
Opinion after eating: Bad idea. If you would like to sample one or two or ten to disagree, please let me know. Even the people who have claimed to like them (aka Ben) have only eaten one. The guys in the lab refused more than one. Thus, Simon has likely won the bacon war.
So if you are wondering whether to buy bacon jelly beans or bacon dental floss for your loved ones for Christmas, I would advise the dental floss. (It smells like bacon, but tastes like nothing!)
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4 comments:
FF832SSST!!
Also - Simon is a girl?
I win!! Yaaaaaaaaay! Also, I love how you plug Simon & Ivan at every opportunity. :-) You are our best customer.
Reid: Yes.
I understand Reid's confusion - it took me a LONG time to understand all the varied relationships among Simon, Ivan, and the various Katie's. However, I was also the person who took months to finally figure out that "Wait, Wait, don't tell me" was not just Katie's newest turn of speech!
I agree with Simon about the bacon - I like the "usual", but found Katie's bacon caramel nougat a bit too strange.
An idea for a short blog post - your dad's foray into making pancetta. We're completely out of it, but we have all the pieces parts - your dad just needs to find the time to put it together before your Thanksgiving visit. Let's see - only 21 days left, and he doesn't even have a timetable drawn up yet!
Reid - Yes. Simon is a girl. Simon is a code name. I don't know where it came from. You'd have to ask her.
Simon - Yes. For now you win. I do plug Simon & Ivan cause I love it that much!
Mom - It is confusing, but I'm glad you figured it out. Meeting Simon & Ivan in person probably helped. I remember the confusion surrounding Wait Wait, and, even longer ago around the Science Olympiad topic "What are You Trying To Tell Me?"
Did you try the bacon floss mom? I will bring the bacon beans to thanksgiving. We can try them as a side. Tell dad he can build a dish around them.
I think the other thing that mom is neglecting to mention is her diehard love of pancetta. She will resort to mild violence (slaps on the hand) if you steal pieces of pancetta. She will put on pouty faces if you dare to use the pancetta in a recipe instead of just eating it straight. It is something that we like to make fun of her for :) Love you mom!
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